It’s Not Okay to Let Go Yet
Mommy, You hear people say it at the end – spoken softly, bravely, as an act of love: “It’s okay. You can let go now.” I understand the love behind those words. I understand the mercy in them. They are meant to comfort. To release. To make room for peace when holding on has become too heavy. I have reached the age where many of my dearest friends have already lost at least one parent – most of them friends of yours and Daddy’s. I have watched them learn new languages of grief, learn how to keep going while carrying absence. I know that saying goodbye is, for some, the final gift they can offer. And still... I could never say that to you. Not yet. Not now. Not even close. Because it is not okay. There are still so many mornings I want you to wake up to. So many ordinary days I want you to live fully, slowly, joyfully. So many moments I want you to witness not as a memory, but as a presence. I want you to laugh more. To rest more. To be spoiled more. To be cared for in t...