Reading Notes: Good Inside – Introduction
Thoughts and highlights while reading on holiday
I brought Good Inside by Dr Becky Kennedy with me on holiday, thinking I’d skim through a chapter here and there between outings and downtime with the kids.
But just a few pages in, I found myself underlining nearly every sentence.
I’ve learned over time that I remember better when I write. There’s something about putting thoughts into words that helps me process what I’m reading – and come back to it when I need it most. So here I am with a new series, jotting down some of the ideas and lines that struck me the hardest.
These are my personal notes and reflections, written more for memory than mastery. Maybe they’ll speak to you too.
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Big Ideas That Hit Me:
🌱 “Your child is good inside.”
This isn’t just a nice thing to believe – it’s the foundation of everything Dr Becky teaches.
She invites us to shift from seeing our child’s behaviour as bad to seeing it as a signal.
Instead of thinking, “Why is my kid acting like this?” she asks us to consider:
It’s not about excusing tough behaviour. It’s about responding with curiosity instead of blame.
Reading this, I had to pause. Because truthfully, I do forget. I jump to “Why is she like this? Why now?” Especially when I’m tired, stretched, and hanging on by a thread. But what if I practiced assuming she's not being difficult – she's having a hard time? And what if I saw myself that way too?
. . .
🤝 Connection > Correction
We’re so used to thinking our job is to correct and control behaviour. But what if the goal is connection instead?
That doesn’t mean letting things slide. It means remembering that connection creates safety. And safety is what helps kids grow.
This felt like both a relief and a challenge. Sometimes I just want the behaviour to stop. But when I think back to the moments that actually helped (not the ones that looked “calm” on the outside but the ones that felt safe on the inside), they were always the ones where I chose connection over control.
. . .
⚖️ Kind and Firm Can Coexist
This one stopped me in my tracks:
You can be compassionate and still set clear boundaries.
You can be gentle and say no.
You can be understanding and still mean it.
That balance? It’s powerful. And hard. But possible.
Honestly, I struggle with this. I either over-explain or shut down. I don’t always trust that I can hold a firm boundary and still be kind, but I want to learn how. This chapter reminded me that both are possible, and that holding limits doesn’t make me harsh – it makes me safe.
. . .
🔁 Repair > Perfection
This line made me tear up a little:
“The strength of your relationship with your child isn’t about how few ruptures there are – it’s about how often you repair.”
It’s such a relief to know we don’t have to get it right the first time. What matters is going back, reconnecting, and showing our kids they’re still safe with us – even after hard moments.
I think of all the times I’ve walked away wishing I’d handled it better. And how many times I’ve let shame stop me from circling back. This made me realise: it's never too late. Repair is always possible.
. . .
🧘♀️ Your Regulation Is the Real Superpower
Dr Becky reminds us: the most powerful parenting tool isn’t a script – it’s you.
Your calm, your awareness, and your ability to stay grounded.
Which is so unfair, honestly, because parenting is exhausting. But also… kind of empowering? That I can shift things just by slowing down and showing up more aware.
And yet, it’s the hardest part. Regulating myself when I feel triggered is work. But if I can start with just a breath, a pause, a reminder that I don’t have to react right away. That alone is something.
. . .
✍️ Questions I’m Holding Onto:
- What do I believe about my child in their hardest moments?
- What did I grow up learning about being “good”?
- What kind of voice am I becoming in my child’s head?
- What if I truly believed: I am good inside and so is my child?
🧡 This Intro's Gentle Reminder to Myself:
“This isn’t a crisis.
It’s a moment of disconnection.
I can repair. We’re both good inside.”
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I’m reading slowly, and I’ll share more notes from each chapter as I go.
No pressure, no polish – just reflections from one parent to another, figuring it out day by day.
If this resonates with you, feel free to share it or just sit with it. We’re all learning.
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